It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
