I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize