their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Ketchup is God's man juice
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
