he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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