Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
