he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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