Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
