I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
