As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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