ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize