Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
