she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
