Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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