I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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