she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
