Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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