THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
