You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
