I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
