I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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