Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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