I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
