you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
