This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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