idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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