Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
