Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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