Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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