I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
