I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This toilet bowl is my home.
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