My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize