Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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