did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
