Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize