ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize