i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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