can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
