Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
