my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
