This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Houston, we have a squirter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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