Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
