Got a toothbrush?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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