There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
