Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
