It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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