It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
