If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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