I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
