I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
