thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
