just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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