my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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