Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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