just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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