Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
