Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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