there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
