We won't sleep together?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
