We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
